Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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