my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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