No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
