do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
