i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
