i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
