i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
