So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
