I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
