no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
