I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
