Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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