how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
