We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
