office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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