I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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