giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
