I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
