just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
