Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I want her autograph on my taint
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
