Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
