There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
