I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
