The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
