this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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