My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
