You work out of a Hotel?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
