so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need to align my fucking chakras
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
