Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
