i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
