We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
