i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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