i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
