i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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