so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
