she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
