They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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