why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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