I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
