Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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