You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
