also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
