I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
