I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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