No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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