But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
