Someone shit on the floor
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
