Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
