im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
