I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
